So we approach the end of Movember, and I can’t wait! I feel it is important to clarify that I think mass fundraising events are great and support them but I’m ready for December and the inevitable Christmas anarchy.
I am blessed with a pretty good coverage and density of facial hair so I headed into Movember with a little bit of confidence, additionally, as a bald man facial decoration helps liven up the blank canvass.
Unfortunately the moustache flatters nobody and to make matters worse it is pretty difficult to maintain. Trimming has been a time consuming affair, attempting to get both sides equal in length and girth is not helped by the fact that faces aren’t symmetrical. So when you relax the crazy face that you pull in order to trim the moustache accurately, you soon realise that it has been trimmed in the dark, with hedge cutters.
I normally bike into work so it wasn’t until mid-Movember when I got on the Underground that I realised how many people were taking part it also dawned on me how hard it is to pull off a good moustache. Standing on the tube and looking around, there was a look of acknowledgement from other participants, the look that says, “I know this isn’t working, I know my partner hates it, I don’t understand why the tache is a different colour to my hair, the coverage is uneven and I have aged 20years but Janine from accounts is paying 10p a day for this”. I think it’s fair to say I cannot work a moustache, unless it is required for a specific novelty event e.g. being a strongman at an old fashioned circus.
Would it not make more sense to have a shorter event, 31days is epic, the Olympics takes place in half that time. I would also like to propose, for vanities sake a female alternative, Tanuary. This would involve having a ridiculously over the top fake tan for the whole of January. At least then the ridicule is shared and the charitable efforts are doubled!
Until next time Bat fans.