Movember Update and Tanuary

Hi Everyone,

So we approach the end of Movember, and I can’t wait! I feel it is important to clarify that I think mass fundraising events are great and support them but I’m ready for December and the inevitable Christmas anarchy.

I am blessed with a pretty good coverage and density of facial hair so I headed into Movember with a little bit of confidence, additionally, as a bald man facial decoration helps liven up the blank canvass.

  

Unfortunately the moustache flatters nobody and to make matters worse it is pretty difficult to maintain. Trimming has been a time consuming affair, attempting to get both sides equal in length and girth is not helped by the fact that faces aren’t symmetrical. So when you relax the crazy face that you pull in order to trim the moustache accurately, you soon realise that it has been trimmed in the dark, with hedge cutters.

I normally bike into work so it wasn’t until mid-Movember when I got on the Underground that I realised how many people were taking part it also dawned on me how hard it is to pull off a good moustache. Standing on the tube and looking around, there was a look of acknowledgement from other participants, the look that says, “I know this isn’t working, I know my partner hates it, I don’t understand why the tache is a different colour to my hair, the coverage is uneven and I have aged 20years but Janine from accounts is paying 10p a day for this”. I think it’s fair to say I cannot work a moustache, unless it is required for a specific novelty event e.g. being a strongman at an old fashioned circus.

Would it not make more sense to have a shorter event, 31days is epic, the Olympics takes place in half that time.  I would also like to propose, for vanities sake a female alternative, Tanuary. This would involve having a ridiculously over the top fake tan for the whole of January. At least then the ridicule is shared and the charitable efforts are doubled!

Until next time Bat fans.

O

X

Versace x H&M

Hi Everyone,

Versace x H&M appears to have been a success with the website crashing, people queuing overnight across the globe, additional security and photos of empty shelves being posted online. 

The marketing has been in overdrive for a while with the multi-coloured animal print images adorning London Underground and H&M stores with media coverage helping to increase the buzz. But what has the partnership achieved?

Possibly not suitable for the office party

The collection had been previewed and the vibrant colours and loud patterns will certainly brighten up the winter wardrobes. In all honesty the woman’s collection appears much more wearable than the men’s but the tie-in with a high street chain means that the collections get less opportunity to be ‘diluted’ from the catwalk creations. 

Bright vibrant and wearable

The result is that styles are being introduced that are slightly more extravagant/fun but in the era of Lady Gaga creations being slapped across all media what was once considered ostentatious seems relatively mundane. It is also good to see another top fashion icon reaching out to a new audience as opposed to a minor celebrity endorsed range of clothing (The Amy Childs Collection??)

Kudos goes to all involved as the partnership has only created winners, Versace and H&M have an increase in media exposure and sales and the customers are introduced to reasonably priced designer garments.

Best get down to the store and see what's left!

O

x

Frankie Cocozza axed: Only Marks&Spencer affected?

Hi Everyone,

It seems Christmas wishes do come true!!

The entirely crappy Marks&Spencer’s advert that ran during The X-Factor bore all the normal trappings of a festive promo. Apparently women love getting clothes (don’t bother getting her anything she may find useful, get her a bra so you can enjoy it!), only attractive people celebrate Christmas and excessive flaring and smoky effects is what Christmas looks like. Before you get to that point though you will no doubt be enjoying the song by The X-Factor finalists, slow motion panning shots as average singers, dressed in black stare stupidly into space.

I don’t really get what the message is? Are M&S telling me that if you wish hard enough then I could end up on The X-Factor (regardless of talent) or if I wish hard enough then I will be bought some sexy underwear? Regardless of what they are attempting, if you were wishing Frankie would leave X-Factor… wish granted!

As the self-perpetuating money machine that X-Factor has become continues its vain attempts to claw back its viewers a new ‘controversy’ has begun. The arguing, racism and bullying claims, changing of band names, Kelly’s ‘sick’ voice and the changing of band members has obviously not been enough so Frankie Cocozza has been removed for breaking the “Golden Rule” (we didn’t know there was one either). The official statement refers to breaking competition rules, in my opinion he is owed some leeway as having no discernable talent meant that he was barely in competition with anyone in the first place. The statements also firmly lay the blame on his shoulders which is a bit strange as The X-Factor controls so many aspects of the show.

Has the show finally got to the point where they can see that having a show based on talent (Strictly Come Dancing) is what people want to see? I feel sorry for Frankie as the show put him in this position (he won’t have seen the judges unless executive producers had auditioned him) he was then exploited for headlines and he is now surplus to requirements. I would imagine that one of the more talented (not talented) acts will be back to attempt to give the show some respectability on Saturday but at this point who cares?

In the meantime I expect the producers of the M&S advert to be submitting the overtime requests as they will, no doubt be editing a new version of the advert to account for the changing line-up (good luck with that!) I’m hoping they just bring Twiggy back.

O

x